When a Nation mistakes its Musicians for Intellectuals

Philosophy may be musical, but music isn’t always philosophical.

The recent politico-entertainment fiasco in which a sizable swath of Uganda’s top pop-musicians, or rather songsters and songstresses, were invited to a high-tier luncheon (or was it a dinner?) with the first citizen of this country has, to me, revealed a few notes of cognitive dissonance with which Ugandan society happens to be handsomely plagued.

As I trust is common knowledge – many, if not all of this nation’s schooled proletarians and urban working-class (who prefer to erroneously and laughably refer to themselves as the elite) are very dissatisfied with the performance of the sitting government; and are often overheard muttering maledictions, and hoping against hope in city-bars, night-clubs and during lunch-breaks at offices where they slave away at low-paying jobs, that some violent hurricane will descend on Uganda from the Far-East and sweep President Museveni’s corrupt, inefficient leadership out of office to the far-ends of some obscure, derelict wilderness where the cronies will die from thirst and an acute lack of toilets.

Of course – for those that aren’t part of mainstream political activism, these complaints are voiced in muted whispers and grumbles lest the ‘wrong’ ears catch wind of this fomenting discontent and cause one to vanish without trace.

Whether any such ‘disappearance’ threats have any substance to them; or are merely chaff from the incumbent's propaganda-mill, meant to forestall possible defiance, is one thing I haven’t verified, and hope never to have to!

It is these grumbling, bar-gossiping and angry but hushed Ugandan voices who went on a rampage of criticism, haranguing and virulent declamation of said ‘artistes’ over social-media and other inconsequential platforms (at least politically speaking) like entertainment radio and television-shows; when said artistes came out openly and blatantly to put their ‘popular’ weight behind the NRM’s Yoweri Museveni as the Ugandan Presidential incumbent steps up the tempo of his campaign for a fifth (or is it fiftieth?) term in office.

There were a few voices of approval; the usual choir of devils’ advocates who stamp their mark of sycophantic and apathetic approval upon all the rubbish and filth that circulates in Ugandan political spaces nowadays.

These lickspittles came out to say that the artistes were independent Ugandan citizens who reserved the private right to support or disfavor any chosen candidate at any level of partisan political contestation in the country.

They did have a point here – for in the past, these very same artistes have been a regular feature in political campaigns at lower electoral levels like Local-Council and Parliamentary campaigns; where political hopefuls bank-roll and enlist them (the singers) for their popularity with the masses, and attendant crowd-pulling ability.

These 'musical' campaigns usually work miracles in the rural-outposts and villages where peasants and farmers are excitable, gullible and give their votes to the most dramatic comedian, the village patriarch’s son, or the candidate who provides the most table-salt packets.

What caught the nation’s attention this time around - and what I think has gone unsaid, yet belies the vitriolic response from Kampala’s chattering ‘middle-class’ - was that the highest office-bearer in the land had resorted to such cheap, tawdry and populist tactics to reach an urban voting population who fancy themselves enlightened and objective folk who make electoral decisions on the basis of cogent issues!

This of course, notwithstanding the shameful fact that these urban chattering-classes never turn up to vote and seem to extinguish the full spectrum of their civic duties by updating Facebook statuses and sharing viral WhatsApp videos.

These town-fellows felt that the President had insulted their intelligence as he sought to use their patronage (being fans) of the city’s popular artistes, (many of whom, by the way, can’t construct a coherent English sentence), to win over urban support for himself.

And of course – because many of these middle-class wannabes are cowards and fear to tell the President to his face that they want him and his rotten government out, they turned their anger fully onto the less ‘ominous’ target of the artistes.

(I must disclaim that it’s easy to accuse fellow Ugandans of political cowardice from the relative safety of a blog-post when you yourself have never seen the forbidding inside of a safe-house …)

But as I was saying;

It has been rationalized that the artistes didn’t really mean it, and like many other regime functionaries and hirelings, are just playing out the political pasquinade like puppets on a string-show, for the money and attached 'benefits'.

That deep-down in their heart of hearts, they hate the man and his misrule, but are very poor like their fellow Ugandan, a one Dr. Bukenya Balibaseka Gilbert, and just want to eat the cowherd’s money and bolt.

You wish!

Of course I won’t dispute the verity of the claim, because I authoritatively can’t do so, but at the core of it – that hypocrisy argument alluded to above is of greater insult to any person committed to political transition in this country, than a million artistes' endorsements of Museveni's campaign ever could be!

This is because such an argument contains a veiled, groveling plea and desperate hope that our well-liked and much beloved musicians truly ‘‘haven’t betrayed us and thrown their lot in with the most collectively reviled figure within our borders’’.

My challenge to such wishful thinkers, and I reckon the crux of this article, is this – would we have expected any different (or indeed, any better) from our darling artistes?

My resounding answer would be a categorical, NO!

Why?

Because our artistes have no intellectual merit whatsoever!

Something that they have been only too glad to prove to us constantly in their endless travesty and scandalous escapades – the most popular among them are a sorry lot of drug addicts, promiscuity purveyors, exhibitionists who glory in sex-tapes and nude-pics, quibblers always engaged in childish squabbles etc, etc, etc.

They are not to be expected – in their private and public decisions – to offer respectable guidance to any Ugandan of sound mind.

Indeed, the joke is on us when, even for a whiff of a moment, we expect such empty-headed, intellectually-shallow artistes whose only claim to fame is the popularity of their shallow music among a similarly vacuous population, to offer us any reasonable guidance in anything that requires brain-power.

Clearly, they possess none!

Even the content of their music, while we admittedly love its rhythmical beats, leaves a lot to be desired. These Museveni-supporting artistes specialize in singing about lovey-dovey experiences, sexual lust, illusory riches, fancy cars, skimpy girls and other such putrescence.

Should we thus expect them to make any sound, objective or intelligent political decisions?

Hell, no!

And oh – I’m sure you recall that idiomatic expression in the English language – ‘‘as thick as thieves’’.

As is the case with hyenas in the wilderness when besieged by a roaring lion, artistes have to stick by one of their own in these turbulent political times – and isn’t our talented president the man who gave us ‘‘another rap’’?

Yes, good people, I have to admit it. These artistes, from time to time, do give us mellifluous melodies and their silky-voices and high-life stardom are enviable, if not infectious - but that’s just about it.

Just like a woman with a great figure (no offence to God’s finest creations out there) almost certainly never makes a great wife; a silky-voice is not indicative of a rich brain.

Beauty, a wide vocal range, and other superficial attributes are things people never really 'choose' to have since they are innate; but intelligence has to be earned through excruciating mental effort.
And from all available pointers, our musicians seem not to have made the slightest attempt in that direction.

The fact, thus, that our musicians have great voices does not also necessarily imply that they have any substance in their heads!

This seems to be the simple distinction many of us have failed to make.

Or perhaps, I am wrong. Perhaps – these artistes, indeed, are our best and brightest men and women?

Perhaps they reflect what is finest in Ugandans and speak with our collective voice - and in offering their support to Uganda's 'Don Corleone' – we are justified in feeling that they have betrayed us, and put to shame all the hope and trust we bequeathed upon them.

Whatever the case;

We Go-Forward2016!